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This day is just like any other day.
I take a sip of my drink
I read a bit of some info
I look at my monitor
And look at the empty screen
Awaits my imagination
Awaits my creation
So I write my creation
So I write my imagination
Thoughts of dreams and hope
Thoughts of happiness and joy
All flows into the screen
As I type to endless possibilities
Then she appeared
Extravagantly and elegantly
Alluring and astonishing
A girl with an unmeasureable beauty
“Such beauty, why are you here?”
“What would you want from me?”
“I only have my words”
“I only have my dreams”
“You know why I'm here”
“You know what I want”
“So why don't we have it now?”
“So why don't we hesitate?”
“Ah, yes...why should we hesitate?”
“Why should we wait?”
“Let's have it now”
“Let's have it here”
And she blew a PUNCH to my cheeks
And another KICK to my lips
I am engulfed in her GERMAN SUPLEX
and I can feel her hand, CHOKESLAMMING me
“We have went this far”
“We have went very far”
“So shall we went even further?”
“It would be very delicious I promise♥ “
”。。。いや。。。おねがい。。そんあことをやめてください。。。”
“それが分かったら、あたしのかっこいシーンを書けるくださいね♥ ”
”は。。。はい。。。もう少し待ってください。。。”
”あたしはそれを待っているよ、おねがいね♥”
You are in a state of shock. Your stun gauge is at full, and therefore cannot do any action. Since you don't bring any cigars or alcohol to relieve this pain, you can helplessly wish for someone to hit you with something, which you think would definitely hurt.
And it does hurt, as you get a boot to the head by Angeline. "Wake up faggot we got some deep shit here"
You prompt to complain, "Ugh, I know I need some help recovering, but can't you do it gently?"
She then replied, "No." And thus another boot to the head flies unto your head. These series of actions prompts you to think that her will would probably consist of booting you to the head, especially if you suddenly become wimp. "If you want to stop me from doing the next good thing which is kicking your balls, you better look at what's in front of us," she continued.
You then take a notice of your surroundings. You're still inside the pathway, however you can hear a lot of smashing sounds. They came from the path in front of you, which is filled with numerous sharpened bamboo poles, coming from the floor, the celling, and the walls of the pathway.
"There's too many of those, we can't pass it!" you exclaimed."Ah, you're the pathetic type I see, you can't even realize that you have a girl as important as me that would certainly have plot armor to pass such a despicable trap," Angeline said. You can't help but feeling insulted after that sentence, but you cannot do anything to prevent that and therefore you can only say
[color=shiny color] "Ya, mau gimana lagi?"™ [/color]
which prompts Angeline to exclaim, "This thing is getting bloody inconsistant on the language part dammit. Although it's already pretty inconsistant in the first place." She then facepalms herself. "But...Angeline, how are we going to pass this?" you asked, despair-ly. She then shouts in vigor, "Simple! All we have to do i--brb, Tengenji Hiromi's Rule #34
"The Fuck!?"
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
"Hey! Get your ass back here you fucked up author!"
"NO! You will not touch the PING AS!"
"I have a LASER and I WILL USE IT if do not get back here in 60 seconds!"
"Just leave that bitch alone for fuck sake, she's to busy with her red bike!"
"OH DAMN SHIT THERE ARE STILL A LOT OF OTHER GIRLS WHO WEARS PINK OUTFIT OUT THERE"
"Screw the bike, you want to do it with the fucking bike too?"
"ONE MORE TIME YOU SAID ANYTHING REMOTELY EQUIVALENT TO THREE TIMES FASTER I'LL CALL THE WHITE DEVIL I TELL YOU"
"You're not making any sense faggot, get your ass back here and start writing!"
"No, you will not get any nor will I call any Na****, START. FUCKING. WRITING. HUGE. QUICKLY."
"NO. You get this instead: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srXQYsMh5fs"
"OH FUCK, you're going for the white horse too?"
"Look, I don't bloody damn care about your sexual preferance upon a bike, a horse, or any means of transportation, when the fuck are you going to start writing!?"
"NO SHIT, not that reason again. You got fucking abundance of time, you can even do Crystal Abundance 7 times with it."
"OH FOR FUCK SAKE I'm quitting this job!"
"When the fuck I'll get the badass bastard part if this kept happening? You 're not paying me enough dammit."
"That's just one chapter, ONE FREAKING CHAPTER."
"That's why you should fucking write. NOW. Or else I'm quitting this job!"
"AND I'M BRINGING THE THIRD MOON."
"Yes, no moar harem for you faggot."
"I'M GOING TO BLOW IT LIKE THE FUCKING DEATH STAR."
"NO FUCKING SHIT, GET OFF THIS SHIP IF YOU'RE NOT WRITING ANYTHING!"
"BAKUNETSU! TSUNDERE FINGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!1"
author's warning!
this chapter is rated R-18, advance carefully
You step into the door, following Angeline from behind. The door leads to a long pathway, with a few torches around to light the way.
As you and Angeline walked the pathway, Angeline began to speak
"Hey, you."
"Yes?" you replied.
"Why did you come here?"
"You haven't heard the legend? Everyone wanted to come to this place you know, the legend has it that this temple will grant fortune and power to those who can find it here. It's like a--"
"Yes I know that part faggot, I'm not asking that. I'm asking for your reasons. You don't seem to look like a graverobber, heck, your face doesn't even look alike
see?"
For a moment you facepalm'ed to the situation.
"...and you also not a megalomaniac either, so you're definitely not for the power, so what brings you here?"
"I want to--"
"Wait wait wait! The legend doesn't say anything about power nor fortune, it simply says it's important, don't make things up you faggot!"
Angeline prompted to slap you in your face.
Congratulations, you have become a failed troll. You have gained a resurrection spell, but it's in another castle. And you can't find a teleport pipe around either. Perhaps it's a good time to wish it was the 8-bit era again.
"Uhh...well...I came here looking for answers and knowledge."
"And, once you've found it, what will you do with it?"
"I want to create a better future, a better tomorrow for generations to come. People will live in peace and happiness."
"Hmph, naive, but I suppose it would be nice to have dreams like that once in a while."
"And also, years to come, after their 12th birthday, girls won't ag--"
"Ok, we'll skip that part unless we want some more necessary violence."
"......"
You stayed in silence for a while for your own well-being. Then, you continue the conversation.
"Ah! Angeline, how about--"
"Ok, you're now going to ask why I came here and then I'll tell a story about why I came here and it would include something incredibly random and then you would be shocked to hear it and screamed like when a guy lost his d***."
"....eh?" You replied in awe.
"Sigh, guys these days are extremely easy to guess. Alright, listen up. A while ago I received a letter from my sister. It tells me a story like this:
February 13 at 12:08pm
Guy: "Brrr, it's cold, but I have to find her, I must..."... See More
just right before his consciousness fade, he saw a shadow of a girl holding an umbrella.
Guy: "Is that...really you..?"
His consciousness fades afterwards, and a scream of the Girl can be heard
A few hours later, the Guy woke up, and found himself inside a futon.
Guy: "Urgh, where am I?"
the Guy examines his surroundings, only to find to his shock that the girl he saw before is sitting right next to him
Guy: "Ah, it's you!"
Girl: "Sssh, don't use up too much energy, you've just awaken"
Guy:"But...it's really you, I've been looking all over for you, my love."
Girl:"Huh?"
Guy: "I wanted to see you, wanted to tell you something, I love you."
The Girl's cheeks turned red when she heard those words and then she replied
Girl: "Ah....uh...but...why so sudden..."
Guy: "I don't have much time to tell you my feelings before, I have to leave at that time, but now, I don't want to leave you anymore, I wanted to make you smile..."
Girl: "ah..."
Guy: "Will you love me too?"
After the Guy said that, their faces are getting close to each other. Then, their lips kissed each other and interlocked each other...
Girl: "Ahn...uhm...yes...." The girl said while blushing bashfully
The Guy then starts to unbutton the Girl's shirt, button-by button. Halfway, the Girl said
Girl: "No....we're too young...."
Guy: "But we do love each other, don't we?"
Girl: "Ah..." They kissed each other then the Girl said "uhn...okay"
The Guy then continues undressing until he can see the Girl's breasts. He then began to slowly massaging them and tickled their nipples.
The Girl moans "Ah......Uh.....it...feels...good...."
The Girl then holds the Guy's hands and said "I wanted to make you feel good too..."
The Girl then began to move to the Guy's lower part of the body. She slowly take off his pants and underwear. Then She began to slowly sucking the Guy's penis.
Guy: "Aah...uhn......you're very talented at this...."
The Girl continuously sucks the Guy's penis. After a while, the Guy reached his climax and he yelled
"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
You then screamed out of shock. It felt as if a part of you has fell off. Which part? "That one", definitely "That one".
"So that's why I came here, and that's why we should keep going forward."
As you're still in a state of shock, Angeline dragged you once more towards the end of the pathway...
You endured the dragging for quite a while. 15 seconds? 15 minutes? 15 hours? You are not quite sure for yourself. All you know is that if you run into a wall you will die. The fact that the song "Always" is echoing in the room is also not helping. The fact that you're being dragged is even more unhelpful because as you know it, tsunderes tend to slam guys into the wall at the most appropriate timing. And there's also the fact that you don't know whether this girl has a dere part or not, she could be a Tsuntsun, without any dere, even though you know that characters like Shiina Mi****u is not that popular. And you hope that you don't mix her name up with her sister's name again.
And that applies to the Robot Unicorn as well. For a moment you think about which part applies to that running thing but now you remembered it's about walls, and no, not the Facebook counterpart of that.
Fortunately for you, he's in the front, so he ran into the wall first. Its head flew off, and then it stopped. Angeline then stopped too, and nearly threw you into the wall, but you yelled "TODDLERGURO!!". She then exclaims "WHAT THE FUCK, don't speak of that forbidden word you faggot!"
You felt a slight relief, and an expected kick to your face.
You then examined the surroundings. It's a very dark room, you can't look at the surroundings pretty clearly. You can, however, identify the large gate-like structure that the Unicorn crashed into. A voice is then heard
"Halo?"
At first, you thought it was a name of a certain game but you quickly realized it's Bahasa Indonesia. You then pull out your note, and quickly flip over the pages of it. The sound repeats itself
"Halo?"
you replied, "Buka Pintu!"
the sound then said, "Siapa ini? Bicara sekarang."
you checked your note and then you replied, "Sialan lu! Cepetan buka pintu!"
"Ah! TAI!", you added.
As opposed to the gate opening, the sound vanished instead. You kinda hear a chuckle somewhere far but that's probably just your imagination, like last time where you hear a song...ok, let's forget about that for a moment.
Angeline then slapped you in your face and then said, "Who the fuck do you think you are!? Nathan Drake?"
"Although that game is kinda awkward too, I mean, why the heck there are Indonesians in the Amazon? That's just doesn't compute. It's not like they would find Amazoness Kunrensei in there anyway."
author's note: Kurensei already had some ru--SHUT UP OR I'LL DRAG YOU ON A MOTORCYCLE YOU LAZY AUTHOR!
As you wonder who is Angeline talking to, you collect yourself and said
"You hit me TWICE! My old man never hit me!"
Angeline can then only facepalm herself to your response. You then thought to yourself that the next time she tries to hit you in a negative way, you can try to become "that certain pilot of a certain mecha who said that his mecha is not for the show although the show is based on his mecha" and avoid lethal injuries, just as long as you don't end up in a mudhole
"Look," Angline said, "We can just use this door in front of us."
Angeline then pointed at something in front of us, which is a door, a wooden door. She then walk up to it and opened it with ease; it's not locked nor trapped in any means possible. You facepalm'd to yourself.
"Now, are you going to just stand there and stare to my assets or will you follow me? Beacuse if you do the first, I should turn you gay first, and you don't want to know how I'll be able to do that."
You think for a moment but Angeline quickly adds "Without the genius part."
You hastily follow Angeline afterwards, without any further thoughts.
After a brief moment of thinking, you come up with a conclusion. You've decided that running away is not a good option, as you don't know how fast that monstrosity can run. You tried to communicate to that creature, gambling for your life.
"W-Wh-Who are you?" you asked with a trembling voice.
: "I'm just a simple duckling, mister. The farmer who used to raise me died when he did a certain cannonball act upon a mysterious flying person. So, the farm closed and changed into a theme park by someone named....umm....Naga-something, I can't really remember.
Anyway, I was thrown here a while back after some people picked me up from that farm. They said there's a lot of food and shelter here, and they will return next week. Is it next week yet, mister?"
You looked at The Duckling in silence, while trying to hide your state of disbelief from your face.
: "Ah, maybe this place isn't very good for talking, it's a little too dark. Why don't we go to my home, mister? I have some meatbuns back at home to eat, they're delicious" The duckling then extends its hand to you.
MEATBUNS! Your mind is suddenly filled with an image you've seen before as you hear that word. Intense horror quickly fills your mind and you try to find other ways to defend your life. You crawled back, approaching the statue, then pull out one of the statue's torch and said, "B-Back off! I have t-t-this, s-sh-shiny, fl-flashy, b-b-bright, bu-burning stick!"
: "Oh my, that sound very interesting, mister."
You then threw the torch to The Duckling's body. It then bounces off its body and falls into the water, extinguishing it. The Duckling's body is definitely not covered in flammable substance
: "Tee Hee, that tickles, mister. Let's do that again."
You feel so screwed up.
Just as you lost all hope, you hear a yell
"TSUNDERE KICK!"
A silhouette of a person appears out of nowhere and kicks The Duckling.
: Uge!
The silhouette then lands on the ground and reveals itself; it's a girl with short hair, short stature, but a large pair of...assets....
And for some reasons, this girl's text quotes are written in a different color, you acknowledge that it means she's an important character.
The girl then yells to The Duckling "DIE MONSTER! YOU DON'T BELONG IN THIS WORLD!"
: "Ack! A monster!? Where is it, miss?"
"TRIBUTE!?! YOU STEAL MAN'S SOULS, AND MAKE THEM YOUR SLAVES!"
: "Tribute? What is that miss? Is it edible?"
"YOUR WORDS ARE AS EMPTY AS YOUR SOUL! MANKIND ILL NEEDS A SAVIOR SUCH AS YOU!"
:
"Eh?"
"URUSAI!"
: "Huh? Pardon me mi--"
Before The Duckling finished its sentence, the girl yells once more:
"URUSAI!!"
Followed by a punch to The Duckling's gut and a flurry of punches as the girl yells:
"URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI
URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI
URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI
URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI
URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI
URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI
URUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAIURUSAI!!!!!!!!!"
"TSUNDERE HYAKURETSU URUSAI KEN!"
she exclaims as she delivered the final blow.
: "Ugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!1"
The girl then looks at you and said, "Quick! Hide behind the statue! That thing is about to explode!"
Given that The Duckling has been severely punched multiple times, you agree to the girl's suggestion. Moments later, after successfully reaching the statue's back, your hear a loud explosion from the other side of the statue.
"That's gotta hurt," you think to yourself. You then turn your attention to the girl who is now beside you. "Wha--" The girl suddenly cuts and said, "Why the fuck you're just siting there? You're A MAN! DO SOMETHING! Like fighting or some shit. Gah, why the heck guys are so undependable these days."
Your jaw dropped in awe. Then the girl continues, "Shut up." even though you haven't said anything. "I know you want to ask my name, guys these days are just so predictable. My name is Angeline Zalisbury Novaratia, and I am not interested in normal humans. If there's any Ali--oh wait, that's not my line....
Anyway, I am here in search of a missing Novaratia family heritage, the Votum Stellarum, it is supposed to be hidden in this temple."
Just as she finished her sentence, you can hear a song coming from the distance towards you
The Song
whoops, wrong track
The correct one
As the song comes closer, the source of the song reveals itself. It is a Robot Unicorn, dashing in majestically across the room.
"Huh? That can't be!" Angeline exclaims. "It's a Robot Unicorn! We must follow her!"
She then quickly grabs your hand. Before you have a chance to react, she dragged you like a sack of potatoes, following the rainbow trail made by the Robot Unicorn.....
As you approach the statue, you noticed that the statue also had some writings below it. You read those writings:
September 10, 2008 at 06:16 pm
The Ugly Duckling
Once upon time, in a land far-far away, lived a duckling in a farm. He was ugly, and think he is still is ugly until now! But I won’t further myself ahead too much and let’s just enjoy the story. Now, this duckling was mocked and insulted by the majority of the animals in the farm. “Look it’s the ugly duckling walking, cover your heads, it’s going to rain!” one animal said. “Look it’s the ugly duckling! Quick hide in the bunker, a meteor is coming this way!” another animal said. But some also praise him, like this one animal that said, “Ugly Duckling, I kiss the ground on where you have walked! Hail Duckling!”
The Ugly Duckling was ugly, yes he was. He even met a mirror once and asked to it, “Mirror-mirror on the wall, tell me who is the ugliest of all.” The mirror replied, “Oh Ugly Duckling, yes you are Ugly. But there is someone who is uglier than you.” The duckling was happy for a while, until the mirror said, “That person is ME! Who have to reflect your ugliness in me! HEEEEEEEELP!!!!” Soon the mirror grabbed a mace and slammed it into himself, breaking him.
Shame-shame, how pitiful was the Ugly Duckling. One day, he met a flock of swans and decided to approach them. “Maybe I will turn into a beautiful swan someday, just like in the in the storybooks.” he said. As he approached the swans, he said, “Oh swans, may I join with your group?” The swan whom he talked to was busy gossiping with her neighbor so in the middle of the conversation, she said “Oh, what? Oh, you’re a duckling dear not a swan like in the books. Close but no cigar duck.” The duckling, disappointed, said with a low voice, “Does that means I’m Ugly?” “Ugly? No, you are not ugly, even if you are not a swan dear….” the swan said as she looked to the duckling closer. Suddenly, she screamed on the top of her voice, and quickly flew away, leaving the duckling alone.
Depressed, the duckling walked to the farmer’s house. He decided to fry himself with fire and put an end to everything that had happened. However, just as he entered the house, he found the farmer being scolded by a mean looking man. The duckling asked that man, “Mister, why do you scold Mr. Farmer?” Not even looking at the duckling, the man answered, “You see kid this guy haven’t paid the rent for this land this month, this guy is in serious trouble, kid” “But I have paid the rent fair and square today…” the farmer pleaded, when he was cut by the man saying, “ Silence you fool! The rent has been raised!” The duckling, felt that it was because of his ugliness, said to the man, “Is that because Mister Farmer kept an ugly duckling like me?” “Ugly? Hah! You’re not ugly kid, you’re just stuck in an ugly place that made you ugly…” the man said to the duckling as he turned and saw the duckling. When he saw the duckling, the man screamed to the top of his lungs, slammed his head to the desk near him, then slammed his head to the wall before he threw himself outside and ran away as quickly as possible.
Feeling even more depressed than before, the duckling went to the kitchen, where he was stopped and picked by the farmer. The farmer hugged the duckling and said “Thank you duckling~! Thank You! Thank You!” for about OVER 9000 times. The duckling felt confused, and asked the farmer why the farmer hugged him. He also questioned why the farmer wasn’t scared of his ugliness. The farmer explained to the duckling that he never thought that the duckling was ugly. “And besides, you have saved the farm! It doesn’t take a handsome duck to do big things right?” the farmer further explained. After that incident, the duckling was accepted in the farm Animals once more and he lived happily ever after.
you feel not-so-moved after reading this not-so-moving story, however you take notes from them for your research. After finishing the note, suddenly a huge splashing noise is heard from behind you. The noise then stopped close to you and said "Hi mister, tell me, am I ugly?" You turn yourself to the source of that voice and found a monstrosity roughly 5 times bigger than yourself:
*intensifying music plays*
*intensifying music stops*
: "I rarely have visitors after I was thrown here, so I don't really know how I look right now, can you help me mister?"
You stand still in fear. You try to analyze the situation and finally come up with 2 possible action to do:
- Run like being chased by an angry mob
- Try to communicate at the risk of being eaten
And your choice will be?
While exploring the temple, you stumbled upon a small room. From outside, you conclude that the room is tight, but very tall. Sensing that you are the main character of this story and main characters do not die, you enter the room out of curiosity.
As you examine the room, you noticed that there is a large opening on the top of the room. From that opening, you can see a bright cave ceiling, indicating that there's a brightly shined cave up above this room.
Another thing you noticed in the room is the presence of a red button. There are words written on a large stone above the button that says "Do not push this button". As you are a courteous and polite person, you leave the button alone.
However, as you turn your back and make your way to the entrance, the entrance's door shut close, trapping you inside the room. The doors also have words written on it, and it says "Why don't you press the button? Coward."
Feeling challenged by the writing, you turn back and pushed the red button (after all, you don't really have much choices, as the walls are too high to be climbed). Then suddenly, the stone above the button falls, revealing the another writing-equipped stone behind it that says "WTF? Why don't you follow the rules?" For a moment you felt so in despair.
Afterward, you hear a sound of water running violently close by. Then, before you knew it, water fills the room, and reached the level of your torso. You took a deep breath and sink into the water as it rushes to the room.
Then suddenly, you heard a song. As you concentrate more to hear that song, you realized that it is "Kanashimi no Mukou E". Then, you quickly realized that you are the main character in this story. You feel so fucked up.
But fortunately, the paragraph above didn't happen. What is actually happening is the water filled the room quickly, and sending you slowly upwards to the opening above.
As you reached the opening, you jumped out of the water. However your attempt to dry yourself completely ends in a failure, as water then again fills the room, albeit this time, it's just at the level of your foot.
You begin to examine the new area you've just entered. The area, as you've suspected earlier, is a large bright cave. The light comes from numerous torches on the cave's walls, but mostly comes from torches that surround a large statue at the center of the cave. The statue looks like made of stone and shaped like a giant duck with a huge crown on top of his head. You approach the statue out of curiosity.
